"Creating a perfect union' means staying visible
by Patrick McCabe
My lifetime partner and I stopped being invisible again at the recent Millennium March. We also learned that our "invisible couple disease" is a chronic one. Exacerbations or return of invisible symptoms are common. Our treatments, like antibiotic therapy, cannot be stopped until all the symptoms go away.
The 1993 march on Washington was our first big march for an invisibility cure. We went the full fanfare route with a customized rainbow flag, monogrammed with our names and date of our commitment ceremony just eight months earlier.
Surrounded by thousands of strangers afflicted with our same disease, our mere presence to one another was the binding bandages of inspiration and empowerment that we all recognized as the perfect treatment to return us to wholeness, and to make us believe that we could go home and make a change.
The following Valentine's Day, it seemed a natural progression of our convalescence to organize our fellow Cleveland Couples Together friends to join us on a protest for equal marriage rights at the Cuyahoga County marriage license bureau. Surely a mediasaturated event would make people pay attention.
We would explain the massive internal injuries we had sustained when we were invisible, such as how gay and lesbian couples were being cut off from loved ones in the hospital. They would hear of our economic disadvantages, from denial of social security to estate rights unfairly stolen away by families that simply didn't notice that we existed when our lifetime partners died.
Surely our laws would change-and change they did on a national level, from the Defense of Marriage Act of 1996, to California's recent vote to pass the Knight Initiative. Our opposition remains steadfast and vehement in their desire to remove our bandages and make us invisible again.
When my partner and I arrived at this year's Millennium March, our enthusiasm level didn't seem as intense as it had the first time. Shell-shocked and disillusioned from the national fallout of equal marriage rights, it just seemed prudent not to get too excited about Vermont's domestic partnership suc-
cess.
·
Then, unexpectedly, while hearing the words "The dawn of a new era is about to unfold in Vermont and it need not stop at our borders," a compelling desire overcame me to hug my partner from behind and sway gently back and forth, savoring the moment and the sensation of the tears that began to sting my cheeks.
The message became clear as the bandages of. inspiration and empowerment began to wrap so tightly around us again, recreating that familiar feeling of security lost. The ordinary people of Vermont were unceasing in their efforts. They did not retreat from the marriage license bureau after just one visit. They returned over and over again until state laws were changed. ❤ When Cleveland Couples Together asked who wanted to be the group chairperson for our table at Planet Pride 2000, it seemed a natural progression of my recent convalescence to volunteer.
Our theme this year is Creating More Perfect Unions. Inspired by a recent photo pictorial in the Advocate magazine, the group hopes to create a local montage of union celebrations as well as endearing, mundane photos of everyday life.
Our goal is to create a rich and visual testament that shows we are women and men capable of deep and rich emotional commitment. In doing this we hope to be ordinary people who choose to remain visible as same-sex couples and smash the stereotypes society has of our union ceremonies and daily family life. We will also have a petition to collect signatures to present to our state legislature next session.
Cleveland Couples Together encourages couples to march together. Wear brightly-colored, matching shirts that boldly proclaim our love for one another. March to show the city of Cleveland how many of us are committed couples. Single or committed, stop and sign your names on a petition for domestic partner rights here in Ohio and realize how political you can be and the major difference an ordinary person can make.
If you have photos to share with Cleveland Couples Together, contact Patrick McCabe or Scott C. Hare at the group's voicemail line, 216-556-5731, or e-mail cctogether@hotmail.com.
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Pride Guide 2000 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE A-13
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